The Monster (Pod) Manual

 (Being an entry for DIY & Dragons' Summer Lego RPG Setting Jam)

Heroica, the Lego group's short-lived vaguely RPG-inspired board game subtheme, is fondly remembered by many fans, and revivals/remakes to the line are regular fixtures on Lego Ideas. Less well-known, or at least less-discussed, is Lego's brief foray in the early 2000s into the world of the miniatures skirmish wargame.

"X-Pods" were a kind of thematic precursor to the 3-in-1 Creator sets that grew more common in later years. Each was a collection of various assorted parts in a common color scheme, and came with instructions for 3 different builds in the same 'genre'. The Wild Pod (bottom right), for instance, featured building instructions for a dragonfly, a bird, and...

Yeah, I don't know, either.

Besides the main builds included in the physical instruction booklets, however, Lego's website also had rules and factions for a board game called "X-Pod Playoff", where two players built little units out of a handful of pieces and maneuvered them on a printed grid. These have since been deleted from the official site, of course, but Joe Wreschnig has preserved PDFs of all the boards, starter sets, and expanded unit lists. In particular, the purple-green-white "Monster Pod" (official set #4338) has 20 little weirdos who I thought could use some lore. Much (almost all) of this text previously appeared on my tumblr, but they're now presented here with original illustrations by my exceptionally talented wife, minimal stats, and brief mechanical descriptions of any unusual abilities.

d20:

1: Big Mouth

2: Bucky

3: Creepie Crawly

4: Dizzy

5: Eyeball

6: Eye Beamer

7: Eyestalk

8: Frightful

9: Gremlin

10: Gremlin Hotfoot

11: Gremlin Porter

12: Gremlin King

13: Hoppy

14: Hypno Thing

15: It

16: Jumpy

17: Monster Surgeon

18: Nurse Scarem

19: Slither

20: Smiler

Big Mouth: A primitive subterranean relative of the ogre, the Big Mouth resembles a gorilla or other large ape, but its hindlegs are reptilian and it has a stubby serpentine tail. The pronounced fangs of its lower jaw inject a numbing venom, allowing it to devour helpless prey at its leisure.

D10A0, bite attack prompts save vs. paralysis as ghoul.

Bucky: A manic demihuman with elongated teeth honed to a razor-sharp edge. These teeth are used both to scrape the bark from colossal underworld fungi and to defend themselves from predators, compensating for their lack of arms. They sprint through darkness with astonishing speed, serving as couriers for an unknown intellect.

D4A1, triple normal speed. Wounds and damage do not appear until 1d4 turns after initial attack (see 'Kamaitachi' in The Monster Overhaul). 

Creepie Crawly: Largely harmless vermin that live in magical caverns. More the 'idea' of an insect than an actual insect - they are chitinous facsimiles composed of all the parts humans fear most, and their insides are almost wholly raw magic.

Noncombatant. Presence may inflict minor penalties on arthrophobes.

Dizzy: An eerie horned creature most easily recognizable by its total lack of limbs. It revolves around the donjon on its dish-shaped underside, drawing slow lazy loops. The sight is strangely fascinating, and the magic contained in its beady black eyes enhances the effect - weak-willed targets abandon combat to stare in perplexed fascination at the Dizzy's spinning.

D6A1. If visible, save or become fixated. Eyes may be averted, as with basilisks &c.

Eyeball: A luminous fungal creature originally adapted to the caverns used to house the Tarrasque, the King Caesar, and other massive beasts; it is adapted to mimic these creatures' eyes staring from the dark, hoping to make the simple-minded flee in the belief that they have encountered a more dangerous being. Often found in mated pairs.

Noncombatant, or D2A0. Portends potential danger nearby...

Eye Beamer: A relative of the infamous beholder, crossbred with a humanoid through means that are best left unconsidered. It has lost the flight and versatility of its evolutionary ancestor, but reproduces faster, and its single beam is projected continuously as long as its eye is open.

D8A2. Choose or roll 1 eye beam from standard Beholder list - directable at 1 creature/round.

Eyestalk: A single hooved leg terminating in an unblinking green eye, hopping aimlessly through the underworld. Poetically termed "Little One Eye" by Dverger, for whom they are a staple food source.

D6A0. Animalistic intellect.

Frightful: When immobile, this magical construct is indistinguishable from an eerie and elongated wooden mask. They are created by magic-users as spies and guardians - their gaze is telepathically linked to the wizard's mind.

D4A2. Low morale. Camouflage, psionic link to master.

Gremlin: Like a goblin, but more outright wicked than pathetic. Consider themselves the intelligentsia of the dungeon, and refuse to hear any evidence to the contrary. Distinguished by their signature pointed caps, the making of which is a closely guarded secret.

D4A1. Other variants appear in sufficiently large groups, according to number, like most demihumans.

Gremlin Hotfoot: Gremlins are exceptionally sensitive to ley shifts, causing them to frequently mutate. The Hotfoot is a gremlin with elongated, muscular legs, and they are considered the warrior caste among their kind, for however little that means.

D8A1, double normal speed, double normal pride.

Gremlin Porter: A gremlin whose arms, rather than legs, have mutated to become astonishingly muscular. However, a curious anomaly in their brains makes them timid and nearly incapable of violence, so their fellow gremlins mostly use them as beasts of burden rather than the brutal fighters their appearance might suggest.

D8A2, carrying capacity as stone giant. Will not intentionally attack, but can be tricked.

Gremlin King: An especially rare variety of gremlin, the King towers over its lesser kin at nearly 4 and a half feet, and is by far the wisest of the species. Their arms and legs are both well-developed, though not to the extent of the lesser castes, and they typically fight with twin daggers.

D10A1, attacks two targets/round. In their presence, lesser gremlins will not flee, but may simper.

Hoppy: A mollusc adapted to live in pit traps and chasms, they leap with truly astonishing force from the depths of their homes to surprise adventurers passing nearby, hoping to startle them into falling, at which point they are fed on by the Hoppy. Known for its headcrest - actually a tendril of exposed nerves - and for its cry of "BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"

D6A1. Jumpscare: hops when prey passes its lair; unsuspecting creatures have 50% chance of falling.

Hypno Thing: A scuttling crablike thing, originally bioengineered by mind flayers/serpentmen/Predecessors/some other race that would do that. The intent was to create a being that would subtly manipulate the population's thoughts to keep them docile, but the psychic effect was made too strong. Now, prolonged eye contact is enough to physically melt the brains of onlookers.

D4A0. Eye contact with hypnotic pattern inflicts 1d8 damage/round, save vs. spells negates.

It: A daemon that appears in the night, sitting on the chest of sleepers and whispering frightening things to them in the hopes of causing them to act rashly or sinfully. "Why are there so many eyeball creatures?," you may very well ask. I know I do.

D6A3. Only approaches if no watch posted during camp. Victim perched on must save vs. death or receive no benefit from rest.

Jumpy: A flightless bird whose legs have fused into a single, powerful limb. Used as mounts by some of the braver and more diminutive races of dungeon humanoid, but they are exceptionally hard to steer and stop.

D8A0. Double normal speed, but only in straight lines.

Monster Surgeon: Undead with stitched skin and coats marked with dark medical crosses. They are the consummate Igors, offering their effective but dubiously safe/legal/sane medical care without regard for clients' allegiances. Payment taken in organs (hopefully redundant), potions, cadavers, literature, or gems if all else fails.

D8A2, regenerates 1 HP/round. Can heal any wound or ailment, with time and funding - but the process indelibly stains the soul and/or psyche.

Nurse Scarem: Artificial beings created by Monster Surgeons, something like eels with exposed vertebrae and elongated snouts like some kind of lizard. Surprisingly nimble, making them more than adequate for their positions as their creators' assistants. Wear jaunty and mildly anachronistic hats, the minute variations between which are the signs of family lines - confusing one clan of Nurse Scarems' hat for one from another clan (which is nearly identical) will draw grave outrage.

D6A2, saliva can numb or induce pain (nurse's choice).

Slither: A runt of the Penanggalan litter, unable to fly. Thus, it slides around on its viscera like a snake, snapping at anything that gets too close. Wretched and self-pitying, but its misanthropy is stronger (barely) than its melancholy.

D4A2. Rises again every midnight unless purified or major organs buried at separate crossroads.

Smiler: Enigmatic bogeymen with grins the size of kite shields, these creatures of the night live to sink their many teeth into warm flesh. They delight in ambushes and the taste of live (or freshly dead) prey. Disarmingly charismatic and civil once the first victim has been killed, until their hunger returns.

D8A1, attack from ambush. First dead opponent quenches bloodlust for 1d6 turns.

Bonus: Lego's somewhat confusing naming conventions lead to a brief mix-up in art briefs in preparation for this post. Meet the midpoint between the Jumpy and the Hoppy:

Statistics, behaviors, and lore for the Jaloppy are left as an exercise to the reader.